My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
