every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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