I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
