What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
