Please, let me fuck your mom
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
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He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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