just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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