yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
