Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
