i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Text me some of your sweat
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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