wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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