So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
