1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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