it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
