I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
