Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
