I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
