i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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