I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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