well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
