God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
