peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
