i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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