how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
