Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
