You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
