i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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