its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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