"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
COCAINE IS GR8
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