Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
