My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
