yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
