Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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