I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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