I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
