I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
