Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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