she was so not down for the gang bang
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
