He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
