I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
