A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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