She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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