There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
