Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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