Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
