Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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