I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
whose ass print is on the piano?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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