I hope mine doesn't look like that
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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