I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
