Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
