i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
