it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
