im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize