You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
