i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
