Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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