he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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