i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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