I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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