no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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