I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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