All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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