new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize