thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
