you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
