I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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