i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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