Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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