the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
