no, he came in my armpit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
