Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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