I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
